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Choose: either me or your parents

  This wife wrote us: I’m 35 years old, my husband is 39, and we dated for seven years and have been married for fourteen years. We also have twelve year old twins. If I had known my husband’s faults before marriage, I wouldn’t have married him. His family is constantly intruding in our relationship, [...]

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What are the similarities between a lover and a pool?

  A friend of mine told me this story. He has a pool at home and one day he went to the store to buy chemical products to keep the water of the pool clean and healthy. He went to the store and started grabbing things from the shelf: granulated chlorine, pH elevating solution, purifier, [...]

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A poor marriage is one that…

  …has fallen into a routine. …lacks love. …lacks respect. …has no vision of the future. …the two are not one. …is vulnerable to attacks. …is full of fights. …there is no pleasure. …there is lack of sex. …has no joy. …neither has time for the other. …lies abound and the truth is scarce. …where [...]

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Incredible, I have to speak about hospitality in marriage

  Cristiane and I have made several trips lately, which means spending a lot of time in hotels. And this made me think of the connection between hospitality and marriage. As you know, the basic principle behind the hotel business is to make the guest feel comfortable, welcome, and relaxed. That’s why hotels look to [...]

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Understanding this basic truth can transform your marriage

  We all have needs and things we want, (wishes.) You need to nourish yourself, but once in a while you want to eat a succulent Argentinean filet (or an organic apple from the groves of Washington, if you’re a vegetarian.) You need a car, but perhaps you want a luxurious German machine with the [...]

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I’m over here saving the planet and she wants to talk!

  That’s how a husband expressed his indignation recently in one of our Love School programs. He was referring to the times he would spend in front of the TV playing video games, while his wife asked for attention. He thought her absurd for interrupting him in the middle of “saving the planet,” — an [...]

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Married couples: what if you change your questions around?

  When a husband or wife veers off into this path, it normally ends badly and involves marital strife and frustration. The path I’m talking about is this train of thought: What are my rights in this marriage? What hasn’t my spouse done for me? Where has he(or she) left me hoping for more? As [...]

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Alone just doesn’t work!

  Someone made a comment after yesterday’s post which called my attention: “I try to do what you say in the book and in the programs, but when you’re the only one fighting and the other person doesn’t lift a finger, it’s hard!” So you just give up because it’s hard? Okay. One thing’s for [...]

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John 13: Loving those who don’t deserve it

Learn more about the John Purpose…   This whole chapter happens around a dinner table with Jesus and his twelve disciples. Jesus knew “his hour had come,” so He wanted to spend His last minutes near His disciples teaching them important lessons. John highlights that the Lord loved them “to the end.” If only couples would [...]

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From fan to no.1 critic

One of the reasons for failure in marriage is the couple’s metamorphosis from fan to critic. In the beginning of a relationship, the couple brings the same-old faults they’ve always had, but somehow see only the good qualities in each other. “You are so beautiful.” “I was starting to miss you.” “I love being close [...]

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