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...on this blog, which you might enjoy:


A trick you should know – and never fall for
Do you really know your mind?


What is sin?
Understanding sin this way changed my life.


Look around you — then forget what you see
Sometimes it's better to be blind...


How to deal with rejection
We all need to know.


Who's laughing now?
Music video every atheist should watch — and Christians too.


I almost married another woman
The power to determine our destiny


All by myself... Will I ever find somebody?
For singles who wonder if they'll ever find someone.


My mother died 
What would you do in her place?

Who do you think YOU ARE that God should listen to YOU?

Who are you among billions of human beings? Why should anyone pay attention to you or notice you? Why should God? Thousands of prayers are said every minute. Why should yours be answered?

Attention. Getting noticed. Being attended to. We all want it, but it doesn’t come easy.

The good news is that we have a great example right in our bodies of exactly how that works.

The human body is made of thousands of different parts, big and small — eyes, feet, nails, teeth, skin, hair, etc. With so much going on in your body at the same time, in all its thousand different parts, how can one of them get your attention? If one part of your body needs your head’s attention, what can it do to get noticed and attended to?

The quickest, surest way is through pain.

Pain is the signal that your body sends to your head to get its attention. “There’s something going on here, you’d better look at this.”

No matter how small and apparently insignificant the body part — if it feels pain, the message is sent straight to the head. Want proof? Pluck out a strand of hair from your head or arm. How important is that single hair strand on your body, compared to everything else? Not very. But all the same, when you pluck it out, the sting you feel sends the message to your head and demands attention.

Likewise, you may be just one among billions of human beings. But when you act your faith in who Jesus is, you become a part of His body, where He is the head. That in itself is already great, but that’s only the first step to get attention. You are still one among many.

Now that you are a part of the Body, you have a direct connection to the Head. If you need help, immediate attention from the Head, you know what you have to do. You have to send the signal. That signal is pain, but we call it sacrifice — something you do because of your faith in God that causes you pain.

Faith without sacrifice, faith that doesn’t inconvenience you, faith that doesn’t feel pain is dead. If a part of your body is dead or numb, it doesn’t feel pain, and it’s useless. You can even hurt it, but it sends no signal to the brain. So is faith without sacrifice — it says nothing, does nothing, means nothing, and gets nothing.

Fasting, prayer, tithes, offerings, forgiveness, helping others, obedience, self-denial, self-control, unexpected and bold acts of giving plus a whole range of other Christian duties are nothing more than different expressions of sacrifice. Unpleasant as they are to our egos and complacent human will, if we want attention from God, and quick, no matter who we are — we’d better start sending the right signals.

It’s what you do that determines who you are and if you deserve attention.

P.S. By the way, the same principle applies not only to getting attention from God but also from anyone who matters to you.

Read this message in portuguese

The flower fades...

All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, because the breath of the LORD blows upon it; surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever. (Isaiah 40:6-8)

(Elizabeth Taylor, February 27, 1932 – March 23, 2011)

Search Amazon.com for Elizabeth Taylor

Read this message in portuguese

Of chickens, iPhones, and wisdom

I was on the way to our church meeting in Soweto when we drove past this shop:

It looked like any other shop on that street. But when I read the sign, at first I thought I'd misread it. "Nah," I said to myself. "It can't be that." 

Then on the way back from church, I asked my friend to drive by slowly. I had to make sure. Yes, I did read it right the first time:

Photocopy. Airtime. Chicken. 

WHAT???!

You don't see those three words together in the same sentence very often. I had to stop and take a picture, or no one would believe me. My initial reaction was to laugh. I couldn't help it. It is comical. But then again, maybe it's not.

My friend told me that chicken is a staple food in Soweto. So it makes sense that if you're trying to make a living here, survive the tough economical times, that you would sell chicken in this market. Gotta stay alive. And Sowetans know a thing or two about staying alive. 

So let's learn a couple of lessons from them:

1. Diversify 

Sometimes you are in a situation where you have to try something new. Too many people fail in business, relationships, faith, and elsewhere because they get stuck in a routine and refuse to change. Apple started out as a personal computer company. When they came out with the iPod ten years ago, a departure from their core computer business, skeptics predicted failure. When the company ventured into cell phones in 2007, Microsoft's CEO Steve Ballmer said: "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance." Fast-forward to 2010: Apple overtakes Microsoft as the world's most valued technology company. And as of 2011, they hold over 25% of the smart phones market share (Microsoft 8%).

When the apostle Paul found resistance from the Jews, he diversified: "From now on, I go to the Gentiles." (Acts 18.6) And because of that one brave decision, which totally departed from tradition, the Gospel reached the nations.

Your fear of change may be your biggest obstacle to growth. You get stuck in a job you hate because your fear of leaving is greater than your desire to grow. Your marriage suffers because you keep trying to change your partner rather than changing yourself. Your faith gets old because you have allowed it to become nothing more than a routine.

If everything you've tried so far has brought no results, and things keep getting worse, it may be time for a change of strategy. Let's try some chicken, shall we?

2. Focus 

Sometimes you have to resist distractions and stay focused on what is most important to you. Yes, I know this lesson is the opposite of number 1 — still, it is equally true. You can't be all things to all people. Knowing when to say "no" is sometimes as important as knowing when to say "yes" – if not more.

The "let's-sell-chickens-too" idea may bring our Sowetan friend a few extra bucks, but what does it say about his business? Confusion? Anything goes? Despair? For all I know, this could be either a brilliant or idiotic idea. (Perhaps when I return to Soweto, I'll stop by and see which one was it.) 

Sometimes you have to do one thing, and do it right, before you move on to something else. Get right with God before you try to grow your business. Fix your marriage before you try to have a child. Stop acting like a child before you think of getting married. Get your head right and a healthy body will follow. In other words, focus. One thing, all your strength.

Conclusion

These two lessons are directly opposed against each other but that doesn't make either of them wrong. They are both right if used in the appropriate situation. The wisdom is to know which one to use, and when.

I love it every time I visit Soweto. God bless you bazalwane!

The day my wife called me selfish (2)

(For the full story, read part 1 here)

“But that’s the whole idea. I don’t want it to be full,” I replied, hoping my words would avoid my suitcase getting even heavier at our next stop. But instead, here’s what I got:

“You’re selfish! Why can’t I put some of my stuff in your bag? I always pack our bags and you don’t even appreciate it…”

Whoa! I didn’t see that one coming!

I was speechless. After a few minutes to recollect myself, still dizzy from the blow, I asked Cris lightheartedly: “How did the word “selfish” get into a conversation about extra luggage in just over three sentences?” And we both laughed about it.

On the way to the airport I was still thinking about that exchange, and how it’s so easy for couples to get into an argument over the smallest things. Just add stress, the wrong choice of words, and a little bit of pride to taste, and an explosion will follow.

Guys, that can happen faster than a Lamborghini can go from 0-60mph. Girls, that’s faster than you can put on lipstick while driving, checking your lips in the rearview mirror, and keeping an eye on the road at the same time.

And here’s what you can do to avoid such explosions from happening:

Keep the conversation at 5 feet off the ground – You see, what happened when Cris threw the word selfish at me was that she moved the altitude of the conversation from 5 to 50,000 feet. I was making a passing comment to her about my suitcase and she suddenly took it up to the level of character attack. No wonder I felt dizzy… It was way too high, way too fast! When you’re talking to your spouse, stick to the subject in front of you. If you’re talking about food, don’t throw “insensitive” or “you don’t care about what I like” into the conversation. Stick to the rice and beans and how you would like them cooked the next time. And if you must discuss high-level issues, then make sure you are much more careful how you approach it. Make it a separate conversation altogether, for another day. “Honey, I want to talk about how sometimes I feel that you’re not always as sensitive to my needs as I am to yours.”

Know when to drop it – If I had stopped at my first comment, after I got an absolutely reasonable reply from my wife, none of that would have happened. Sometimes we just say one word too many. We could stop and let it pass, but we feel we must go on and get our way. Believe me, it doesn’t pay. Remember this: There are certain things you can never let pass in a relationship, but they are very few and far in between. Most of the time, you can just drop it and let it go. Life’s too short to spend it bickering.

Words are triggers – I’ve seen this over and over again in couples’ counseling. Most couples argue not because they have fundamental disagreements, but because they choose the wrong words to communicate their feelings about each other. Watching what you say and how you say it is one of the most important relationship skills you can develop.

Make light of it – When someone steps on your toe, you have two choices: step on their toe or feel the sting, soothe it, and move on. Humor soothes sore moments in relationships. You need to learn to use it often and accept it when your partner uses it to make light of a bad situation between you. The way I made fun of how the word selfish got so fast into my conversation with Cris helped us both to stop before anybody got hurt and move on.

Yes, I could have escalated our talk into an argument, attacked Cris back, and still nursed a grudge later. But I’m a minimum-luggage freak.

I like to travel light.

PS (to Cris): Baby, I wanted to say one “I love you” for every suitcase you’ve packed and unpacked for me in the last 20 years (if I only knew the count!). I know how stressful it can be. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Read this message in portuguese

The day my wife called me selfish (1)

I like to travel light. I don’t carry a wallet in my pocket, I don’t like to carry keys, I even take off my wristwatch whenever I can. And when I go to bed, I remove my wedding ring. So you can call me a minimum-luggage freak.

Just the other day, Cris and I were about to check out of the hotel we were in. We were not going home yet, only to the next city where we had meetings to attend. As I was closing my suitcase, I noticed it was fuller than when we checked in. A second look revealed why: My dear wife had moved some items from her now-also-fuller suitcase into mine (how she manages to come home with more stuff than when we left is beyond me.)

I hate bulging suitcases as much as I love my wife. So I took a deep breath, closed the suitcase, and then made a comment to her as we were leaving the room: “I noticed some of your stuff in my suitcase.” She said, “Oh yes, there was lots of room in it, and mine is already full.” That’s where I should have kept quiet. End of the story. After all, it made sense. Hers was full, mine had room to spare — I would have done the same.

But I had to open my mouth and say one more thing.

(Continues on the next post; click here to read the rest of the story now)


Read this message in Portuguese

The plateau

Pla•teau – period during which the level of something does not change, especially after a period when it was increasing. 

This word describes the spiritual situation of many Christians. During the initial excitement of their newfound faith, they looked forward to going to church. They were hungry to be inspired by a new message from God. They wanted to bring everyone they knew to church. They were growing in their faith. 

But as time passed, their excitement faded and their faith reached a standstill.

Going to church became more like a chore. Praying and reading the Bible became a burden. Bringing someone to church was no longer on their priority list. Now they’re just coasting, going through the motions, lingering in that spiritual plateau.

I strongly believe that if we are not getting better, we are getting worse. If we are not growing, we are dying.

There’s always a next level we can aim at in life, especially in our spiritual life. We should never be stagnant or complacent. We need to keep growing.

That’s why we’ll be holding the Next Level Event on Wednesday March 16th at SiLC. This event is for people who don’t want to be stuck in a spiritual desert. They don’t want to fall into a routine. They want to bear more fruit and get back the excitement of serving God.

We are preparing great things for that day. I think you will like it. I’m sure it will help you grow.

Be there. 

Being a Man

Yes, men struggle too.