Many claim that love is blind, but we beg to differ. Watch as Cris and I talk about two more areas of compatibility in relationships — physical appearance & intellectual level.
I agree, it is important to be compatible both physically and intellectually and to be confident about each other’s physical appearance, intellectually ability and racial background.
It’s true - love is not blind - physical appearance is important. As Cristiane said, “If you marry someone you’re not attracted to … you’re never going to be lovers.”
On the subject of married couples being lovers, there are about 3% of married couples in the UK who are not lovers – they get married and never have sexual relations. And that includes some Christian couples. Yes, as many as 3%. (I obtained this information from a very reliable source, so it's probably true).
As you say, if there isn’t that attraction and absolute confidence with each other then eventually, later on, somebody else who looks more attractive physically, could come along and affect the confidence of, or shake the relationship.
I would like to say something about me and my husband with regards to physical attraction, intellectual ability and racial confidence.
When I met Julian, my husband, I thought that he looked a little uncoordinated and he certainly wasn’t the sort of man I was attracted to physically, except that he was tall and slim and I have always liked tall slim men. He is 6ft tall.
We met studying Hebrew. The first time he spoke to me I thought no, he speaks too fast (although I did like his posh accent), and his face isn’t what I find attractive - although I did notice that he was tall and slim.
However, when he came over to speak to me the following week, my thoughts about him had changed. I thought this man is really pleasant – he is so positive - he says pleasant positive things.
The week after that he asked me out.
I accepted the invitation and when we went out together, the more he said the more and more I liked him. I would even go as far as to say I was attracted to him.
After our first going out together, I couldn’t see that he was uncoordinated and he learnt to speak more slowly, which made him even more attractive. At that point he captured my heart and became the most handsome man in the world to me.
I am not educated to degree level, as he is, and he is more knowledgeable and more intelligent than I am, but we get on very well on the intellectual level.
Intellectual togetherness is not about whether you have both been formally educated to the same level – it is about being able to share and discuss your thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs – about having an interest in your partner’s interests.
With regards to racial differences – I am Greek and he is English and I understand of course, that we are not as different racially as some couples are.
However, we were confident with each other’s different race and culture from the start, when we first went out together.
There was absolutely no awkwardness or insecurity when we were with each other’s family or friends. (The first time I met Julian’s mum and dad, and his family, I felt relaxed and confident with them – I thought, yes, this is the family I would like to marry into).
Before we got married we discussed whether we would follow the Greek culture or the English culture and came to the conclusion we would mainly follow the English culture, but that I should sometimes cook Greek food, play Greek music, keep in frequent contact with my Greek relatives, teach any children we may have to speak Greek etc.
This works out perfectly well and we are really happy together.
I find videos on this topic to be especially helpful, because I wish to use these charcacteristics to find my future husband. I want us to be super compatible, in order to hve a more effective marriage and to fulfill each other.
This series has been very helpful, especially for someone who hasn't chosen a farmer. All of these are things to consider, I really found the racial component of compatibility interesting. Thank You.
3 comments:
Bishop Renato and Cristiane,
What you say cannot be faulted.
I agree, it is important to be compatible both physically and intellectually and to be confident about each other’s physical appearance, intellectually ability and racial background.
It’s true - love is not blind - physical appearance is important. As Cristiane said, “If you marry someone you’re not attracted to … you’re never going to be lovers.”
On the subject of married couples being lovers, there are about 3% of married couples in the UK who are not lovers – they get married and never have sexual relations. And that includes some Christian couples. Yes, as many as 3%. (I obtained this information from a very reliable source, so it's probably true).
As you say, if there isn’t that attraction and absolute confidence with each other then eventually, later on, somebody else who looks more attractive physically, could come along and affect the confidence of, or shake the relationship.
I would like to say something about me and my husband with regards to physical attraction, intellectual ability and racial confidence.
When I met Julian, my husband, I thought that he looked a little uncoordinated and he certainly wasn’t the sort of man I was attracted to physically, except that he was tall and slim and I have always liked tall slim men. He is 6ft tall.
We met studying Hebrew. The first time he spoke to me I thought no, he speaks too fast (although I did like his posh accent), and his face isn’t what I find attractive - although I did notice that he was tall and slim.
However, when he came over to speak to me the following week, my thoughts about him had changed. I thought this man is really pleasant – he is so positive - he says pleasant positive things.
The week after that he asked me out.
I accepted the invitation and when we went out together, the more he said the more and more I liked him. I would even go as far as to say I was attracted to him.
After our first going out together, I couldn’t see that he was uncoordinated and he learnt to speak more slowly, which made him even more attractive. At that point he captured my heart and became the most handsome man in the world to me.
I am not educated to degree level, as he is, and he is more knowledgeable and more intelligent than I am, but we get on very well on the intellectual level.
Intellectual togetherness is not about whether you have both been formally educated to the same level – it is about being able to share and discuss your thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs – about having an interest in your partner’s interests.
With regards to racial differences – I am Greek and he is English and I understand of course, that we are not as different racially as some couples are.
However, we were confident with each other’s different race and culture from the start, when we first went out together.
There was absolutely no awkwardness or insecurity when we were with each other’s family or friends. (The first time I met Julian’s mum and dad, and his family, I felt relaxed and confident with them – I thought, yes, this is the family I would like to marry into).
Before we got married we discussed whether we would follow the Greek culture or the English culture and came to the conclusion we would mainly follow the English culture, but that I should sometimes cook Greek food, play Greek music, keep in frequent contact with my Greek relatives, teach any children we may have to speak Greek etc.
This works out perfectly well and we are really happy together.
Interesting video.
I find videos on this topic to be especially helpful, because I wish to use these charcacteristics to find my future husband. I want us to be super compatible, in order to hve a more effective marriage and to fulfill each other.
This series has been very helpful, especially for someone who hasn't chosen a farmer. All of these are things to consider, I really found the racial component of compatibility interesting.
Thank You.
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